Crank

Crank is an old-school action flick, a real non-stop roller coaster ride. It starts off with Chev Chelios finding out he’s been poisoned with the “Beijing Cocktail”, that slowly but surely drops your heart rate to zero, killing you. He’s told to keep moving and keep his adrenaline flowing to fight off the poison. In doing so, he becomes a one man wrecking crew, demolishing shopping malls, cars, hotels, you name it. He fights people hand to hand, blows stuff up and shoots plenty of bad guys.

One of the best things about the movie is the subtle humour in the background, like how most of the time he’s calmly talking on his cell phone while in the middle of a car chase, gunfight or something else. His time in the hospital, running around in a gown is hilarious. There is tons of dark humour and great one liners throughout the movie, and the plot is breakneck. Amy Smart does a pretty good job of playing the part of his ditzy girlfriend, who’s more concerned with turning off her waffle iron than escaping the bad guys. Her scene in Chinatown with Stratham is side-splitting, from her reaction to his request, to the Japanese students on the bus, to the appreciative crowd.

Essentially, it is like the Transporter movies, but with more adult content, from drug use to nudity to violence, and where the Transporter movies were kind of cheesy, Crank is over the top, a throwback to the violent films of the 80s like Terminator and Commando. This is one of those movies you will either love or hate, and I'm not ashamed to say I loved it.


9 out of 10

Miami Vice

I went to see the Miami Vice premiere Wednesday with a friend and man was I surprised! I’ll admit I didn’t care much for the TV show, so I was expecting very little in terms of this movie. I’d seen the trailer but I didn’t think too much of it either. I was expecting a cheesy retro 80s flashback to rolled-up sleeves and shoes with no socks, but instead got to see a very stylish and gritty cop show.

The movie starts out with Sonny (Colin Farrell) and Rico (Jamie Foxx) working a sting on a pimp who uses a nightclub to solicit business. Just as they are about to bust the bad guy, they get a call from an old informant who tells them that his cover is blown and the meet he set-up tonight is going bad. Sonny calls the FBI but it’s already too late. The FBI guys get blown away and very quickly Sonny and Rico are forced undercover to find out what went wrong and to set things right. The story gets a bit muddled here and the original bad guys (white supremacists) disappear and are replaced by a Columbian drug lord and his cronies.

Fortunately, Michael Mann deprives us of cheesy 80s clothing and style and instead updates everything for the 21^st century. Hot new cars, boats and planes are used every few minutes, as well as plenty of high-tech firepower. While the story stumbles in the middle, the action sequences are excellent (they kind of reminded me of Heat – a Michael Mann classic) and the acting is very good. Farrell and Foxx are worthy replacements for Don Johnson and the other guy. There are also plenty of ruthless, unsavory chaps and beautiful ladies to round out the cast.

It was much better than I expected and I think it should do well. If this was called anything other than Miami Vice, I expect it would be considered one of the best cop/buddy action movies in the past several years. Because of the title, some people will go in expecting to see a cheesy copy of the TV show and might come away disappointed, but don’t let the title deceive you, it’s a good movie and well worth seeing in the afternoon to escape the summer heat.

9 out of 10

The Matador

After almost a decade as James Bond, Pierce Bronson returns as an assassin (Julian) in the Matador. While on a job in Mexico, he bumps into businessman Danny Wright (Greg Kinnear) in a hotel bar.

They get to talking and eventually form a friendship of sorts. Six months later, Julian appears on Danny’s doorstep in the middle of the night needing help. The only question is will Danny help or not.

This is by far one of the best roles Brosnan has ever done and he is both charming and despicable at the same time as Julian Noble. He has some of the best one-liners in a long time, such as “I’d only be interested in your mother if she lost 20 pounds and 30 years” and “I look like a Bangkok hooker on a Sunday morning, after the navy's left town” to name a couple.

Brosnan proves there is life after Bond and creates a wonderful character in Julian Noble, much like Johhny Depp did with Jack Sparrow. Gone are the Armani suits and sauve style, in are cowboy boots and a cheesy 70s pornstar mustache. Despite Julian’s job “facilitator of fatality”, the character is likable and funny. Kinnear does a good job as the quintessential ‘nice guy who’s down on his luck’ and befriends Julian, despite his character flaws.

This was the best independent film I’ve seen in a long time.

10 out of 10

Click

Adam Sandler's movies are usually predictable and quite funny. You pretty much know you'll laugh a fair bit and be taught a lesson on life, kind of like the average sitcom, except his jokes tend to be funnier and the humour a tad more crude.

I was expecting to see the best comedy of the summer going into this, and I wasn't disappointed. The first two thirds of the movie are very funny and the pace is excellent. Beckinsale is great as his wife, as is Morty, the Bed, Bath and Beyond employee who gives him the universal remote control. Plenty of people are already talking about Hasselhoff's role as Sandler's boss, but the supporting role I found even better was played by Sean Astin, as the swim coach of Michael's son. There are plenty of great one-liners at his expense and he provides some good comic relief later on in the film. Another great supporting part is Monaghan as the snotty, spoiled kid next door. He torments Sandler constantly and Sandler fires right back, providing for some very funny scenes.

I was wondering how they planned on keeping it funny for two hours, and this was the only thing that didn't happen. The first half of the movie is very funny, but then it gets into the life lesson part of the movie as the remote control starts fast forwarding on its own, and Sandler is left with gaps in his life. Each time it fast forwards, another part of his life is gone, and he is sadder for it.

9 out of 10

The Break Up

This movie is all about what happens after the usual ‘guy meets girl, guy falls in love with girl’ bit.

Jennifer Aniston (Brooke) plays a shrill, nagging girlfriend who is constantly trying to change her boyfriend’s ways. Vince Vaughn (Gary) plays a slob of a man who totally takes his girlfriend for granted. After a family dinner gone wrong, Brooke breaks up with Gary and both refuse to move from their prime location condo in Chicago. Even though Brooke says she wants Gary back, she will only do so if he changes. Gary seems to not realize what he’s lost in Brooke and goes out of his way to be obnoxious.

Ala War of the Roses, they both try a variety of tactics to drive the other crazy, from playing video games and music at all hours of the night to dating hot guys to throwing a strip poker game. While some of the tactics are funny, they don’t help you like either character. Instead, both of them come across as selfish and childish, not funny or endearing. The only really interesting character is Jon Favreau, Gary’s best friend who has the best lines and steals scenes from the two bigger stars.

By the end of the movie, no viewer gets what they want. The guys will go away pissed off because the director blurred Aniston’s butt out of one the best revenge bits in the movie and the girls are denied the usual syrupy, happy ending. If you want to watch a movie like this, I recommend War of the Roses with Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner. That one was far darker and funnier…

5 out of 10

Mission Impossible 3

Personally, I can’t believe that they ever made a MI:2, never mind number three. Even the first one wasn’t all that good, with the ending being very predictable. Still, it’s a ‘franchise’ now, and that means summer sequels hoping to be blockbusters.

In this one, the hero, Ethan Hunt has given up going on missions and is just training agents for IMF. The reason he has done this is that he plans on settling down and marrying his fiancé (Monahan). All she knows is that he works for the Department of Transportation doing work on traffic analysis.

But, one of his star pupils gets captured and he feels obligated to rescue her. The rescue is a success but she dies shortly after they escape. During the course of it, Hunt runs afoul of arms dealer Owen Davien (Hoffman), who I admit, is one of the best movie villains in a long time. Too bad he got hardly any screen time. Had he gotten more screen time, this likely would have been one of the best action movies of the summer. Without him, it’s nothing special. Of course, Davien kidnaps Hunt’s fiancé and forces him to steal a biological weapon for him from a laboratory in Shanghai.

The rest of Hunt’s IMF team looks pretty, but with the exception of Ving Rhames, is hardly on screen at all and hardly ever talk either.

I kind of feel sorry for J.J. Abrams. He took a franchise with arguably the world’s best known actor (however crazy he is these days) and sank it with his first try. I guess he’ll have to stick to Alias and Lost.

4 out of 10

X-Men: Last Stand

The movie starts off a few months after the end of X-Men 2, with Wolverine and Cyclops still grieving over the loss of Jean Gray. If you’ve seen the trailers, then you have an idea of what happens next. A ‘cure’ for the ‘X’ gene is found and offered to mutants. Of course, the paranoid people in the government turn it into a weapon and plan to use it as a defence against rogue mutants, like Magento. Magento, of course takes exception to this and forms an army, with the intent on destroying the cure and taking over the planet. He enlists the help of dozens of mutants and storms the facility holding the cure. Of course, the government, armed with its new ‘cure’ weapons, is waiting for them and a battle ensues.

There is also a love triangle of sorts between Kitty Pryde, Iceman, and Rogue, as well as some time spent on developing other ‘lesser’ characters, both in the X-Men and the Brotherhood. Plenty of fun new characters are introduced, the best being Juggernaut (played very hilariously by Vinne Jones).

This movie is considerably darker than the others, with plenty of mayhem and death, so that may or may not be your cup of tea. Personally, I enjoyed the darker take on the X-Men instead of the usual superhero movie with the good guys winning and no one getting hurt.

I was pretty impressed by this movie. After reading reviews about it, I was expecting another it to be like Mission Impossible 3, another cash grab with big actors and no story. Instead, I was treated to a pretty decent story, plenty of action, and lots of characters getting killed. There are some major characters that either get killed or lose their powers, so expect the unexpected (I’m not telling you who they are, sorry). You also need to stay in the theatre after the credits finish to see a special scene involving one of the major characters, otherwise, you’ll have to wait for the DVD in the fall.

8 out of 10

Inside Man

Basically, Inside Man is a bank robbery movie, in the lines of Dog Day Afternoon, Heat, or any one of dozens made in the past 100 years. Bank robbers storm a bank and get trapped before they can escape with the loot. So it becomes a story of how will it end? Will they go out in a blaze of glory or surrender and accept time in the big house? Clive Owen is one of Hollywood’s up and coming actors and he looks to replace greats like Denzel Washington, who also stars in this movie.

Unfortunately, Owen spends most of the time wearing a mask and so his talent is wasted in a lot of scenes. Washington does very well, even though the script doesn’t really let him explode on the movie screen like he did in Training Day. Still, he commands the scenes he is in and helps the story roll on. Jodie Foster's character feels like it is tacked on to allow an actress get some time in what is a pretty good bank heist. She is parachuted in, does little to nothing to resolve the situation, and then leaves. She does a good job while on screen, but the role was an odd one.

Based on the trailers and other hype I’d heard, I was expecting a movie more like Usual Suspects or Shawshank Redemption. Basically, I was expecting a big twist at the end. Unfortunately for me, this movie was more like Gene Hackman’s Heist in 2001. It was sadly predictable and I had the whole heist figured out within 30 minutes. Despite this, it is still enjoyable escapism and worth the price of admission.

7 out of 10

Underworld: Evolution

The first question you have to ask is; did you like the first one? If not, why are you reading this review? If you did, you will enjoy the sequel.

All the characters come back (via flashbacks) including those that died in the first movie like Victor and Amelia. Basically the story picks up the day after Victor was killed in the sewer and Seline and Michael are forced to flee. They are hunted by other vampires and a newer, badder head vampire.

The body count increases and new characters appear, further immersing the viewer in the storyline and plot of how vampires and werewolves came into existence in the first place.

The special effects are very good and a combination of CGI and old fashioned make-up/masks, which I found refreshing. Obviously, due to the vampire aspect of the movie, it retains the dark, gothic tone of the first movie. The acting is okay and no one really stands out, but there weren’t tons of cheesy lines like in a Mark Wahlberg movie. It is definitely more adult than the first movie, with an 18A rating because there is nudity (a sex scene) and plenty of violence and gore.

All in all, it is one of the few sequels that is might be better than the original movie.

9 out of 10

Curious George review

I saw the premiere this past weekend and to my amazement, it wasn’t terrible. I was expecting an overly childish animated movie but instead was treated to a good story with really good artwork. It’s not Shrek or Toy Story, but geared to a younger audience.

Curious George is drawn so adorably I don’t think anyone can possibly not love the character. His mentality is that of a young child and he loves peek-a-boo and playing hide and seek. Any parent who watches this will undoubtedly see the resemblance and enjoy the film, which is filled with sadness, humour, and good old fashioned fun.

If you have children, they will enjoy the movie. If you were a fan of the books when you were young, I suspect you will enjoy it too. It is a great way to spend a rainy/snowy afternoon with your loved ones.

8 out of 10